Direct Hits Blog

The latest suicide by a victim of bullying ATTESTS (bears witness, certifies) that this is a problem that will not be MITIGATED (lessened) without some significant changes in our attitudes and actions.  The recent flurry of media commentary (from The New York Times to Lady Gaga) addresses the issue of bullying, cyber- or otherwise.

It is well known that for many young people, the fear of OSTRACISM (deliberate exclusion from a group) may lead them, with no CONTRITION (compunctions, pangs of conscience), to behavior that ranges from SUBTLE (difficult to detect) to CAUSTIC (critical, burning, corroding) to threatening to OVERTLY (openly) violent, behavior that DENIGRATES (disparages, belittles) those who are different from themselves.  The victims, trying to appear unaffected by IMPERIOUS (domineering, arrogant) or cruel treatment, may CAPITULATE (surrender, comply without protest) too COMPLAISANTLY (desiring to please, obliging) and SUBSERVIENTLY (in a servile manner).  It is easy to say that the victims of HARASSMENT (tormenting) or COERCION (control by force, threats, or pressure) should show FORTITUDE (strength in the face of adversity) and STOICISM (indifference to pain) and just turn away.  But that approach does not deal with the INSTIGATORS (those who incite or foment something bad) of the pain.

Danah Boyd and Alice Marwick, the authors of the Times article, “Bullying as True Drama” (9/23/11),  POSTULATE (claim) that teens want to ASSERT (declare) their independence, to be in control of their lives.  To be labeled as either a victim or a bully is to surrender that control to an undesirable stereotype.  Consequently, most teens will say there is no bullying at their schools; there is only drama.  For the bullies, this term reduces the behavior to something INNOCUOUS (harmless) or even funny; for the bullied, the term helps them feel superior to those they DEEM (regard as) desperate for attention.  The term drama seems to be a protective and distancing mechanism for both sides, neither of whom can afford to own up to the truth.  But, say the authors, “To recognize oneself as a victim–or PERPETRATOR (one who commits a crime or something bad)–requires serious emotional, psychological and social support, an INFRASTRUCTURE (the basic, underlying framework or features of a system) unavailable to many teenagers.” They call upon adults to be more COGNIZANT (aware) of and responsive to the ANGUISH (agonizing pain, torment) of BELEAGUERED (beset, surrounded by an enemy) students.  The adults who say that most bullying is too SURREPTITIOUS (secret, covert) and STEALTHY (furtive) to be detected must become more PERSPICACIOUS (observant, perceptive). They must help students to move from helplessness to true empowerment. They must model the behavior they value and MENTOR (advise, counsel) young people to do the same.

But is expecting adults to solve the problem the only way?  If young people ABNEGATE (renounce, deny to themselves) their responsibilities in a culture of HARASSMENT (tormenting), aren’t they TACITLY (silently, without speaking) admitting to the very helplessness and immaturity that they are REPUDIATING (disavowing, disowning)?  We must stop pretending that our intentions define the morality of our acts.  An act that causes negative SEQUELAE (effects, results), no matter the intent, is an immoral act.  Therefore, before a culture of disregard for the feelings of others becomes ENDEMIC (native to a place, as a disease) to our society, all of us must work to develop EMPATHY (entering into the feelings of another person) toward others.  Let’s all end the “drama”!